I wasn't practicing my religion in an aware and authentic way. My life and ways were clogged with all kinds of unexamined practices, rituals and ideas that weren't really mine. I was living in a default setting- not really thinking for myself and actively choosing my beliefs and practices.
I only sought the Right Answer, I wasn't quiet and still and honest enough to hear my own authentic answer- to discover what it is that I actually think about something.
In a way, I was like the older daughters of King Lear- not wanting to give the wrong answer, not wanting to appear disloyal, and so gave an answer that didn't make any sense and was also not a True answer, from my True Self.
The youngest daughter, Cordelia, gave a real, honest answer- and she questioned her sisters' integrity- how could they say they loved the King "wholeheartedly" when they were married? Didn't they love their husbands?
Cordelia's answer was grounded in both Love and Common Sense. It wasn't the right answer- or the safest- but it was true. And brave.
I must start taking responsibility for my beliefs- clearing out the unexamined practices and taking a good hard look at them. Then, actively choosing or discarding them.
I would rather have a chosen, wrong belief and act authentically on it, than to have a soul that's stuffed to the rafters with "right" beliefs that I don't really agree with, own, or act on.
I don't want to have any beliefs that I'm ashamed of.
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