Listening to the Artists

A terrific quote on why we need artists, and why we need to listen hard to what the artists of our time are saying, and the questions they are asking-
it's a good antidote to living in the Land of Already-Having-All-The-Answers that is the Christian experience today.

"Art can warm even a chilled and sunless soul to an exalted spiritual experience. Through art we occasionally receive- indistinctly, briefly- revelations the likes of which cannot be achieved by rational thought.

It is like the small mirror of legend: you look into it but instead of yourself you glimpse for a moment the Inaccessible, a realm forever beyond reach. And your soul begins to ache... "

-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, from "the Nobel Lecture on Literature"

Also, I remember reading a review of that Christian movie starring Kirk Cameron, Fireproof. the reviewer said that it was a solid movie, as far as moving making goes, but that it wasn't a great movie, and that no Christian movie could be, because this religion does not allow for the kind of honesty that real Art requires. Hmmm.

The Christian Label

For the last couple weeks, I've been reconsidering whether to call myself a "Christian" or not. At the moment, I feel that I'd like to stop using the label indefinitely- but not because I don't "believe in Jesus" anymore, or have decided firmly against the Christian doctrine. I more have an issue with using a label to define my spiritual state. And "Christian" is a very problematic label, I think, because of its huge range of understood meanings.
What does the label "Christian" really mean? If we're in conversation, and I tell you I'm a Christian, then there are immediately quite a few different meanings now in play: there's what you think "Christian" means; what "Christian" means to me; then there's what I actually am; and of course, what God thinks of what I am. And these meanings might be drastically different from each other, so I wonder how usefully, really, is it to call myself a Christian.
In the past, it was always emphasized that we should declare ourselves "Christian" when asked- and to do it firmly and proudly. If I were to somehow deny this label, that was equated with denying Christ Himself- a serious sin indeed. But I wonder if God is so stuck on us using this label. Are "Christian" and Christ synonymous? I think of a few examples in the gospels where Jesus shakes down people's confidence in their labels: when he says that there will be some people who do miracles "in my name" who will be denied entrance into heaven- and Jesus will say he "never knew" them. And also Jesus danced around the label people tried to put on him: Son of God. He almost never gave a straight answer, usually returning the question to the asker, ie "Well, who do you think that I am?"

I like that approach. I'd rather have people draw their own conclusions; look at the "stuff" of my life and decide for themselves what they think I am. If they think I'm a "Christian" (according to their own definition), then fine, that's what they think I am. If not, that's fine, too. Because really, what does it matter whether people attach me to a certain label?
In other spheres of life, I think it matters more what people think you are- the labels they attach to you. But when it comes to my spiritual state, I think it only really matters what I really am- underneath all the labels- and what God thinks of me.

It might seem at this point in the post that I'm completely ambivalent to the label "Christian"- but this is not quite true. I think I've actually become somewhat resistant toward it. At this moment in my life, the label Christian stands for a lot of things that I don't want any part of. For me, Christian means being "different" from others- "separate"- "better than"- with a special "calling" that sets me above others- having "the answers." I really detest this kind of thinking now- and don't want to see myself as above others. I want to look in the mirror and see a human being- just a human being.

Questions

What's so wrong with "just trying to be a good person"?
As Christians, we always slammed that idea down. If someone said, "well, I try to be a good person," we'd pontificate about how they're trying to live life without God, trying to be righteous in their own strength, that they're denying their need for Christ.
But really, if a person says that, and genuinely means it- what a beautiful statement it is. And there is such a greater ring of honesty to this than a Christian's brand of "goodness." With a Christian, when they do something good, it's more than likely not because they just want to; they're doing it because they're a Christian and that's what Christians do, or to gain status in their Christian culture.

A Bad Christian Habit

It is a bad Christian habit to have "answers" for things I couldn't possibly have answers for (as a mere human being). We feel free to have "answers" for all kinds of complex subjects which we know nothing about.

"Frankly, I'm suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue." -Scott Adams

I don't see how/why I should "speak out" at all, or have some concrete standpoint, in complicated issues (ie abortion, homosexuality, evolution, other religions)- because I would immediately set myself up as both "Expert" and "Judge;" two roles I do NOT want to find myself in. Not sure that any human being should actually occupy those roles.

Questions

a quote from losingmyreligion.com:

"...I struggled to see any cause/effect relationship between my actions of faith and the actual events unfolding all around me and other believers."

Me too.

Are Christians as a group really any different from anyone else? Within a group of Christians, you have all the kinds of people that you can find anywhere else. Christians have the same struggles as everyone else... some Christians do really well at overcoming those problems, some Christians don't. Same as everyone else.

But our Gospel teaches that those who become Christians are new creations... and are happier, more peaceful, more successful in life than everyone else. This is even held up as evidence of Christ's existence: transformed lives. We can't see Christ, but look at how different Christians are from everybody else.

I think this kind of belief can create dishonesty for people who really buy in to it- ie. I am told so often of the peace and the joy that I have now that I am a Christian, that I can't really see or acknowledge the ways in which I am not peaceful and happy.

Faith and Authenticity in King Lear

I wasn't practicing my religion in an aware and authentic way. My life and ways were clogged with all kinds of unexamined practices, rituals and ideas that weren't really mine. I was living in a default setting- not really thinking for myself and actively choosing my beliefs and practices.

I only sought the Right Answer, I wasn't quiet and still and honest enough to hear my own authentic answer- to discover what it is that I actually think about something.

In a way, I was like the older daughters of King Lear- not wanting to give the wrong answer, not wanting to appear disloyal, and so gave an answer that didn't make any sense and was also not a True answer, from my True Self.

The youngest daughter, Cordelia, gave a real, honest answer- and she questioned her sisters' integrity- how could they say they loved the King "wholeheartedly" when they were married? Didn't they love their husbands?

Cordelia's answer was grounded in both Love and Common Sense. It wasn't the right answer- or the safest- but it was true. And brave.

I must start taking responsibility for my beliefs- clearing out the unexamined practices and taking a good hard look at them. Then, actively choosing or discarding them.

I would rather have a chosen, wrong belief and act authentically on it, than to have a soul that's stuffed to the rafters with "right" beliefs that I don't really agree with, own, or act on.

I don't want to have any beliefs that I'm ashamed of.

Spiritual Avatars

Over-involvement in the Church World can disconnect people from their real lives. They can be successful "spiritual" people, but losers in their real life.
Can sing the songs passionately, attend all the meetings, speak and teach from the Bible, become a respected member of this spiritual community, achieve things there, grow, progress- but in their real life, could be at a stand still. Achieving nothing, in a total rut, having no control over the events in their life, and making no progress in obvious problems.
But their spiritual religion enables them to find satisfaction, when they should be facing up to their real responsibilities and challenges in their life.
So many Christians are unhealthy, unhappy, unproductive, stuck in a rut, their children have huge problems, they have huge problems (ex. in finances, or relationships, or self esteem), but these people are even leaders in the church. We're supposed to view them as spiritual teachers??

This is Dishonest.

Evangelism

"Evangelism": the deeply ingrained mantra that in all of my conversations/interactions/relationships with others, I had to have this ulterior motive: bringing them to Christ.

It crippled my ability to connect with other human beings, to just honestly connect.

Religion vs. Honesty

I think religion can have a tendency to skew our sight, because religion seeks to be a coherent system that explains EVERYTHING. We can't just SEE something- we have to see how it should be or how it must be in order to fit in coherently.

I just want to see the world as it is.

God created. And here is a fossil that points to the evolution of living beings.

Before, I essentially had to ignore that fossil. I don't want my sight to be skewed like this. Not to look at the world and say, "This should be" or "This shouldn't be"
but rather "There it is"

That's not to say that the fossil now cancels God out. Perhaps both can be. Right now, I look and see a fossil that points to the evolution of life, and I see a world too wondrous to just be an accident.

My idea of God doesn't cancel out the fossil; the fossil doesn't cancel God out.

Perhaps there is a higher unifying truth. perhaps not.